E N T E R

Time to go home..

2011-12-08T21:18:00.001-08:00

Oh, my love for trees..

I might have to move back to Seattle, one day..

6 Months Ago

2011-11-16T08:07:00.001-08:00

[Taken 6 months ago in Seoul, Korea.]

It's strange to think that I was in another country this year.

2011-11-14T21:31:00.001-08:00

It's 10:22PM on the clock. I just finished a midterm, and I have two more to go.

From the beginning of this year, there's a verse I clung onto,

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." [Matthew 6:25-34]

I reflected on my awful past year, and wanted a change for 2011. You know that phrase, "Let go, Let God?" Well, I let Him have one hand on the wheel. In some aspects, it worked. I got a job in Seoul, a super cool boss, and lived right next to my darling Em. God worked it. Then I got accepted to grad school, within a week made really cool friends, and found a church that I liked. He did it, again. My prayers were answered. What was annoying was that I knew that God wasn't satisfied, and neither was I. All my prayers were based on what I wanted to be, and not who. When I did, out of guilt and overwhelming feelings of obligation, it kind of set me at ease for a short period of time, but like always, it wasn't enough, and gradually this became a burden itself. As lame as it sounds, I had to contemplate and honestly re-evaluate who I was. One of my biggest problem in my life, still to this day, is saying, "I'm busy," and no lie, I felt I was and am. As I was meditating on this verse the other day, I realized the reason why I say "I'm busy" is because I worry about not completing a task, or being too tired if I spend time with a person or doing church activities, when I can be catching up on sleep. Before, I thought I was doing a good job at not worrying because I didn't worry about money, a job, school, etc. I trusted God, that He would provide in that aspect, but it really came to light that I lacked faith in other things. I didn't believe that He could really give me the energy on a few hours of sleep, and that I had to take control of that. I didn't think He could remove the stress I would feel if I had only a few hours to complete a task from spending too much time with people and church. It became such an internal battle, that it began to actually make me feel more exhausted that I prioritized my physical well-being over church activities and people, and that I was starting to become, or was, a passive believer. I was tired of myself, and so I delved into the Bible and took refuge in the verses, "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." I'm in the process of seeking first, and I've loosened my other grip on the wheel, finally learning to rest. I'm wondering why it took me so long, because it feels pretty good, relieved, and I haven't felt this way in a really long time..

Here's to it being 12:32AM.

Here's to two midterms.

Here's to You, God.

I love.. tempo.

2011-11-14T16:56:00.000-08:00

I miss driving.

Soon.

-------------------

[You Are Listening To : Diplo ft Amanda Blank : I'm A Lady]

Morning Rise

2011-10-12T22:01:00.000-07:00

It could have been just another day, like how any other morning would start, with the sky lightening as the sun rose to awaken the night, but it wasn't.

From the four months I was in Korea, it would be the first time I would stay out late enough to see the sun break, and would also be the very last.

I remember thinking to myself, that it was a good way to end my time in Seoul, with Emma by my side sharing a cab ride home. Just us two.

I think the time spent with Emma made me realize we just might make it as friends. Who would have thought that I would grow accustom to her quirky behavior, and her to my nonchalant demeanor..

How funny.

..and so it goes.

2011-09-13T20:27:00.000-07:00

I really hadn't thought of anything too deeply this year. Not because I didn't have anything to think about, I just didn't want to. Nothing seemed important enough to encompass my mind and energy. It's not like this year wasn't exciting enough either. I just didn't want to think about it. Maybe because the previous year was mentally, physically, and emotionally stressful I wanted a break, or maybe like I said in an earlier post, I just didn't care. I didn't care about feelings. I didn't care about thoughts. I didn't care how the world was running. "Is it because I'm getting old?" I asked myself. Nothing's fresh.. reminding me of the verse in the Bible that says everything's already been done under the sun. It really has. My friends would ask me what I meant. "What do you mean you don't want to see people?" "Why?" "Are you depressed?" I explained, but I don't think any of them got it, and I didn't expect them or anyone to. I never do.

Because of my "I don't care-ness" interior, on the exterior I tried to overcompensate with an "I care" attitude some days. I still wonder to myself if it worked. If the person receiving my "I care" attitude really felt it or not. There were quite a few new people I met, and looking back I think that I should have been a lot more caring and kinder, and have spent time with them, but like in most scenarios, I wanted to be the main character and focus only on myself. There were two people though.. who I genuinely fell in love with and have now established a warm, continuing relationship with.. hooray~ Cheers to you on that, Ms. Choi.

Why am I writing this, you ask.

Perhaps it is because this is what has been on my mind, and within me this past time. I hadn't written anything too personal, not because I didn't want to, but nothing seemed to formulate the way I had wanted it to in Seoul and Seattle. Now I'm in New York, and still it feels a little odd, but I thought maybe if I said things bit by bit something would come about.

If anything, this was a release for a brighter future, a brighter Sang.

The same girl,just on a better level.

..and I'm off.

2011-07-12T18:42:00.000-07:00

Flight Booked.

See you later, Seattle.

A tad early, I know, for closing salutations, but I'm in need of preparing myself.

I honestly feel weird.

Buying a one-way ticket?

Woah. Interesting..

Progression.. or the lack of

2011-07-06T22:32:00.000-07:00

--

There's something wrong when you don't care about a lot of things anymore..

For now..

2011-06-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

All I want to eat are doughnuts, froyo, cookies, brownies, ice cream and cakes.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of hanging out with AJ, and eating froyo at Cal Anderson park. As we were chit chatting and eating, a girl was walking her German Shepherd pup, and in my excitement in wanting to pet the pup, I toppled over my yogurt onto my lap and onto AJ's hoodie that I was sitting on. I quickly picked up the gobs of melting yogurt and put it back into its container, hoping that I'd still have a chance with playing with the German, but unfortunately, by the time I was able to clean up my mess, the pup was gone.

So,
Instead, I did what I had to do.

I picked up my pink spoon,
Finished my yogurt,
And was tra-la-la, happy again.

Oh, Summer.

Sweet Summer.

How fun you are.

Summer Drive By.

2011-06-16T00:31:00.000-07:00

..

2011-05-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

Take me there,

I want to go there.

Take me there,

You know where.

Existing, I suppose.

2011-03-27T05:31:00.000-07:00

Flap, Flap, Flap,

Day.

Flap, Flap, Flap.

Night.

The sun hits the pavement before I've even said hello.

Not there yet..

2011-03-09T08:01:00.000-08:00

My head throbs,
The sweat on my back trickles,
As I lurch forward,
Clinging onto the one thing that I feel will save me from myself.

I want my mama to be here,
To cradle my neck and whisper magical words only mama's say..
Running her hands across the ridges of my back,
While I savor her sweet scent.

But for now,
All I can do is lie here,
In my state of illness,

Until I can calmly say to myself

"All better.."

---

[You Are Listening To : Kings of Leon : Cold Desert]

In a bit..

2011-01-26T20:20:00.000-08:00

I'll be off to Seoul in a few days, five days to be exact.

It's a bit frightening.

To go off, alone.

Well, technically, not alone.

But at this hour, in this moment, it feels like it.

And I'm scared.

There are going to be nights where I'll feel dreadfully lonely, and want to crawl into my bed, sleep away the awful feeling, and hope to never wake up.

Even though, my darling Emma will be right across the hall.

Even though, relatives will be within a ways distance.

Even though, my sister will be a phone call away.

I'll still feel it.

But,

Don't worry..

It always goes away.

Thank God,

It always goes away.

-----

[You Are Listening To : Cocorosie : Lemonade]

2011-01-08T22:47:00.000-08:00

.

Something's going to happen.
Something's going to burst.

*POP*

--

Doin' the G thang..

2010-12-29T01:06:00.000-08:00

The embers of my youth are dying out fast.
I can feel it, and I like it.

It's been quite a ride.

I'm not one to cry,
But a few buckets were filled this year.
Some filled with tears,
And others filled with the remains of retch from the unexpected and unwanted dives.

2011 Come Hither.
I'm getting off,
And I want you waiting.

With a warm hug,
And a tilted smile.

A kiss on the cheek could do too,

But if on the lips,

Will set me for miles.

--

[You Are Listening To : Crystal Castles : Suffocation]

Saturation of Thoughts

2010-09-28T19:18:00.000-07:00

-
-

I don't know why, but the transition from one season to another makes me want to fall in love. I imagine myself with my beau, holding hands, and embracing the new season that is to come. It's a simple thought that brings warmth to my dear, small heart.

-
-
-
-

Fashion.

The word and concept always leaves me somewhat flabbergasted.

It's a love&hate.

I love the way it can make me feel when I see something new or am inspired by it, and how all the different textures and colors mesh together to make a look complete, but it can also make me feel.. moronic? Vain? Judgemental? Disgusted in myself with what is perhaps a worthless infatuation?

Oh, but,
In the end, it's love.

Dangerous Love.

-
-
-
-
-
-

Randomly landed upon this article and site.

Cracked

These sort of things amuse me.

-
-
-
-
-
-

Goal is to become "Feet."

For the moment, I feel like I have one foot in every aspect of my life.
I can't wait until the day I decide to place one foot next to the other.

Feet.

-
-
-
-
-
-

I envy the free-spirited youth.
How they gush with passion in and around everything because everything is still new;
Still a time where they can be inspired, oblivious of what is to come.
At the same time, their ignorance and naivety is what makes me inclined to say that they're idiots,

Hopeless romantics.

-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

I get sick of things quickly.
I get annoyed easily.

My moods are madness.

I'm mad.
Mad, I tell ya.

But give me some of your sweetness,
And maybe,
Just maybe,
My sanity will seep in.

-

[You Are Listening To : Cocorosie : Animals]

English Major At Her Finest.

2010-08-31T00:33:00.000-07:00

.

Positive People Piss on Pessimists.

-

How's that for alliteration?

Random Thought

2010-08-26T21:54:00.000-07:00

I like

When people write in blogs.

It's therapeutic.

Hmm..

2010-08-23T15:27:00.001-07:00

So much to do,

So little time,

And it's all my fault.

-

Summer is slipping away, and Fall is ready to take it's place.
I knew this even before I woke up this morning.

The cold breeze that came through my open window last night made my body beckon for another blanket, and so with eyes slightly opened, I grabbed another one that was, of course, nearby. You always have to be prepared when you live in Seattle..

It's all bittersweet.

I was supposed to have fun this summer, and right before the busyness subsided, it dawned on me that the last few days I had left of summer would be filled with hours (HaHa) of studying. How lovely.. My favorite thing to do during my beloved season.

-

I apologize to anyone who reads this blog for the lack of good background music.

Nothing seems to settle my ears.

Everything sounds played out.. New and old.

.

Also, my writing is horrid. Forgive me.

Still a Child

2010-08-18T20:09:00.000-07:00

Today, I went to morning prayer with my folks and was able to gain some insight on my relationship with God. The pastor asked us why we pray, and answered, "Because there is Someone who is listening." For a while, I've been feeling like I've been talking to a brick wall, and God was kindly bearing my yappity yapping, but during the message, I was able to picture something quite different than what I previously had in mind. As a Christian, God as my Father, lovingly listens to His child (me), speak, whether it is me complaining, or glorifying His name. He just simply cares, and like any loving parent, wants to hear what is on His child's heart, how he/she is doing, and how He can help. I began to soak in our relationship, and now can pray a little bit more earnestly without feeling that baggage of guilt from being such a bratty, hypocritical child.

I repent, He forgives, I complain, He listens and helps me to grow, I give praise, and He blesses.

On a stronger note, as a child we always tend to center on ourselves, like my previous paragraph where it's all about me and my thoughts/feelings, but then one day, we realize there's the other person's feelings (the other person being our parents). That's when we get all sad and guilty, when we finally realize after all these darling years, we've never asked our parents how they were, what was on their hearts, and how we could have helped. Our Father is no different, except that His heart is purer and only longs for our hearts to equal to His desires so that we, His children, may have a wonderful life.

Thanks, God. I'll try harder. I'll fight longer. And I'll live lighter.

To You, Your name be Glorified.

Love, Love.

No Turning Back

2010-05-24T18:58:00.000-07:00

Catch me fall,
Watch me drift,
Above and below,
The rattling rift.

The current feels smooth
Against my calloused skin.

Catch me fall,
Watch me drift.

--

[You Are Listening To : Simian Mobile Disco : Off The Map]

How You Soothe.

2010-05-21T07:40:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 41:9-13 (NIV)

9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

11 "All who rage against you
will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you
will be as nothing and perish.

12 Though you search for your enemies,
you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you
will be as nothing at all.

13 For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.

--

Thanks, God.

2010-05-20T23:10:00.000-07:00

I want to be soothed.

For someone to brush my hair,

To tell me that it's okay,

And that everything will be alright.

My heart stops,
My eyes quiver,
And my breaths are released,
In sporadic rhythms.

Inhale
.
.
Exhale
.
Inhale
.
.
.
.
.
.
Exhale
.
.
.
Inhale

And never let it go.

For fear that it may be contagious..

Catch me.
Hold me.
Pet me.

And never let go.

To Be.. Amused.

2010-05-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

I'm in the mood to go to an amusement park.

A place where I can be care-free, laugh, and lick lollipops.

Just for a day, and a full night.

That's all I'm asking..

But yet, at the moment, it is too much to ask for..

----

[You Are Listening To : Paulo Serapio : Kids And Use Somebody (Cover)]

The Revolving Door

2010-05-06T19:40:00.000-07:00

People Come

People Go

The never ending revolving door.

Swish
Swish
Swish

Hello

Swish
Swish
Swish

Welcome

Swish
Swish
Swish

Goodbye.

2010-04-30T08:04:00.001-07:00

Just grit your teeth, and go..

2010-04-23T00:32:00.001-07:00

---

[You Are Listening To : The Album Leaf : See In You]

Weird..

2010-04-21T21:15:00.000-07:00

My mother just came into my room, yelled at me with tears in her eyes, and left.
I followed her, asked if anything was wrong, she told me nothing was wrong, that I was the sole reason why she was frustrated, and walked away once again.

But it's weird.

I'm not mad.
Nor frustrated.

More confused as to why I'm not.. angry.

Normally, I would be.. feeling something, if not jaded, but it's not even that.

It's a numb feeling..

Peace perhaps.

--

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you.."
-John 15:13

Lately, I've been getting to know the Holy Spirit, and asking for Him to dwell and take over.

I guess this is it.

Truly it.

Cheer me up

2010-04-20T23:14:00.000-07:00

ryo.c.kato@gmail.com: (11:13:15 PM) 보고싶다...

Simple phrases saves souls..

2010-04-17T00:49:00.000-07:00

I wonder why things end, the way they end.

I'll Try Anything Once

2010-04-17T00:45:00.000-07:00

Ten decisions shape your life,
You'll be aware of five about,
Seven ways to go through school,
Either you're noticed or left out,
Seven ways to get ahead,
Seven reasons to drop round,
When I said ' I can see me in your eyes',
You said 'I can see you in my bed',
That's not just friendship that's romance too,
You like music we can dance to,

Sit me down,
Shut me up,
I'll calm down,
And i'll get along with you,

There is a time when we all fail,
Some people take it pretty well,
Some take it all out on themselves,
Some they just take it out on friends,
Oh everybody plays the game,
And if you don't you're called insane,

Don't don't don't don't it's not safe no more,
I've got to see you one more time,
Soon you were born,
In 1984,

Sit me down,
Shut me up,
I'll calm down,
And I'll get along with you,

Everybody was well dressed,
And everybody was a mess,
Six things without fail you must do,
So that your woman loves just you,
Oh all the girls played mental games,
And all the guys were dressed the same,

Why not try it all,
If you only remember it once,
Oooh ooooooh,

Sit me down,
Shut me up,
I'll calm down,
And i'll get along with you,

Hear for yourself.

2010-04-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

The _______s.

Sometimes, it takes me a while to listen to a band. I wait until there's a moment, possibly by chance, where it finally strikes a chord, and makes me feel. Doesn't matter what it makes me feel, as long as it's making me feel anything, but annoyed.

At the moment, I'm in a weird state, an odd state, an inexplicable state, without words to correlate, but the lovely thing is, is that I randomly stumbled upon The Strokes, and they played how I feel; a better way to explain, than my ever-long blubbering words.

--

The _______s.

Clever.

They know they're known.

--

[You Are Listening To : Julian Casablancas : I'll Try Anything Once]

Been There, Done That

2010-03-31T19:53:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been reading a lot of Donald Miller, and I can't help but agree with everything he says. He, obviously, has a knack for writing and knows it, while I on the other hand don't, or maybe I do.. I just don't know it. I started off reading Blue Like Jazz, and then went on to Searching for God Knows What, and finally completed reading Through Painted Deserts. It was weird getting to know this stranger whom I'll probably never meet, but relating on such an odd level. I suppose it's like when I creep through people's facebook pages, and think I might be the best of friends with them if I had the chance or balls to redeem myself (which won't likely ever happen). The funny thing is, is that a lot of other people relate to him, which is probably why he is a best seller, but that must also mean that all those other thousands of people who relate to him, must somehow relate to me. Sort of a bummer, because unfortunately, even though we're told how unique and special we are while growing up, it's not quite true, and as much as I use the excuse that I'm different and can't get along with people, I honestly probably can.

As a child, my revelations and epiphanies, as much as they were my own, they weren't unique. I see this perfectly, when I hear the thoughts of the youth group I help lead at my church.

Which leads me to Ecclesiastes 3:1

"Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account."

--

It's funny as to how all these thoughts and ideas come together and fuel my respect for God. That He is right and perfect. I knew this long ago, which is why I stopped arguing and questioning because I believed, and still believe, that He will answer in time. None of my experiences, good or bad, are lost, but gained primarily for this sort of moment when everything finally fits together for me to see the ever-growing pieced puzzle.

Bah.

----

[You Are Listening To : Foals : Spanish Sahara]

Twas A Good Night.

2010-03-21T00:11:00.000-07:00

Tonight, Emma and I got hollered at by teenage boys.

[Taken July 5th, 2008]

Coolest Feeling In The World.

It's Time..

2010-03-18T17:19:00.000-07:00

to party in the US of A.

Itinerary 2010:

Las Vegas

New York

California

Atlanta

Let it be a year of traveling in my home, America.

--

Now she's dancing with strangers
She don't know they name no
The city has claimed her
But she doesn´t care

[You Are Listening To : Lupe Fiasco : What U Want]

I'm Telling You,

2010-03-10T21:09:00.000-08:00

My Art Will Be Worth Millions.

Although I say I plan on becoming a teacher, I don't know.

I'm always drawn towards the artistic field..

Dreaming about photo sets, costumes, layouts..

What to do..

What to do..

Entrepreneur?

Where would I even start?

School?

AH.

I Am a C.

2010-03-10T20:01:00.000-08:00

You play it off like it's cool that I am,

And I play, like it's cool that you're not.

It's a tango,

Where one hopes I fall,

Slip,

Make a mistake,

More ever so, easy to judge,

Say,

That I am the suck of the suck,

Tell,

That I am the hip to the hypocrite,

Even though you had made that decision long ago,

Long before we ever even touched to tango.

Towne Laundry . Seattle Vintage

2010-03-08T22:55:00.000-08:00

A lovely friend of mine, Blanca Martinez, has finally opened up her etsy shop.

I guarantee, you won't regret browsing and buying from her little store.
What once started as a hobby, formed into a love for finding adoring vintage pieces for her friends, family, and herself. Over the years, she has collected an eclectic assortment, and is now ready to share with those who appreciate her selections in women's vintage and mid-century home furnishings.

I hope you enjoy her collections, as much as she has enjoyed making the memories in hand-selecting each piece, and more importantly,

Have Fun :]

~

Towne Laundry
www.etsy.com/shop/TowneLaundry

Perfect for Spring.

More to come soon.

--

On another note,

[You Are Listening To : Beach House : Walk In The Park]

Hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy imagining myself listening to them, sitting with my head back in a top down convertible with the sun and summer breeze hitting against my hair and face.

_

2010-03-04T20:16:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, all I hear is, "Blah, blah, blah."

Doooooooooooooooooooooooop

2010-03-03T19:49:00.001-08:00

BOYS

MEN

DARLINGS

-

I find it common, that many of you have trouble wooing a beloved.

And so to be kind, since it is the month of March

(I don't know, I like Leprechauns. Always have, always will),

I will let you in on a little secret.

GIRLS

WOMEN

DARLINGS

L<3VE

f o o d

-

Prime Example : Phish Food

Food For Your Soul

Ah!

I'm drowning!

*shrugs*

So be it.

-

Get. In. Mah. Belly.

---

[You Are Listening To : Phoenix : Fences (Def Starr)]

I Was Told To Always Be Prepared.

2010-03-03T19:30:00.000-08:00

Wahlah!

And So I Am.

You're Still a Babe.

2010-02-25T22:34:00.000-08:00

Hey Ma,

I know you miss the days when you were young..

When your skin glowed a soft yellow,

When your smile made poor fellows heart ache,

Who only hoped for a mere glance..

And I know it wasn't easy, living the life that you lived, after marrying our dear, little pops..

But you lived with no regrets.

Woke up each morning,

And put a stankin smile on your face,

To embrace whatever came along that dang, rainy day..

And so, I guess what I want to say is, thanks,

Happy Birthday,

You're still a babe.

So.. There. You. Are.

2010-02-15T19:42:00.000-08:00

My mind is numb.

I don't think I've drenched my mind this bad since... Summer quarter 2008.

Ouch.

---

Y A Y . F A C E

[Taken by Adrian w/ my iPhone]

----

[You Are Listening To : The Chemical Brothers & Mazzy Star : Asleep From Day]

I like to chill.

2010-01-21T19:57:00.000-08:00

"Baby I can tell you want me"

--

All the time..

All the time.

--

ahahahhahah

*thumbs up!*

---

[You Are Listening To : Goapele : Milk & Honey]

Why hello there, Mr. Kato

2009-11-23T23:00:00.000-08:00

It's my favorite time of year, where all I want to do is walk the streets of Seattle, sip cocoa, watch Elf and Love Actually, laugh with friends, and listen to sweet songs like the one you are listening to right now.

--

Meow Meow

[Photo Taken By : Ryo Kato]
Love Love Love Ryo's Photos : http://www.flickr.com/photos/triviallyastute

10:19 PM
Ryo Kato: one last thing. i swear im not trying to hit on you from across the pacific ocean. however. i like talking to you because afterwards i feel recharged.
.
.
.

10:21 PM
Ryo Kato: the last being most important ; { D
Ryo Kato: (observe the wink. see how much more charming, and southern gentleman-like if there was a big moustache.)
Ryo Kato: yup...

---

LOL.

Friends are so important.

They make you laugh, make you cry, and most importantly, they make you feel loved.

Even if they are across the Pacific Ocean.

:]

[You Are Listening To : Michael Buble : Always On My Mind]

If you were here,

2009-11-02T22:30:00.000-08:00

We would be sippin, and swayin, and bobbin our heads to the beat.

But you're not.

And so sometimes, a lot of times...

I miss you Lep.

---

For the lack of pictures we have together..

Me and You.

HA HA HA HA HA

---

For you. :]

[You Are Listening To : Biggie Vs. Tupac Vs. The Xx : Runnin' With The Xx (Quix Vs. Elliot Blend)]

YAY. IT'S OVER.

2009-11-01T08:58:00.000-08:00

OH

YEAH

Don't ask me what I was.

I had to dress up five times for work,

And all those days I didn't really know, nor cared.

AHAHHAHAHAHHAHA...

---

[You Are Listening To : N.A.S.A. ft Kanye West Lykke Li Santogold : Gifted]

Story of My Life.

2009-10-30T09:40:00.000-07:00

Is there somebody who still believes in love?
I know you’re out there
There’s got to be somebody
I search around the world
But I can’t seem to find
Somebody to love

-----

[You Are Listening To : Leighton Meester ft Robin Thicke : Somebody To Love]

Sigh..

2009-10-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

I hate how I don't think before I speak.

Photographer : Sang Choi

2009-10-25T23:40:00.000-07:00

In my own lala-land, I picture myself as a professional photographer, which is why, when I see a cool scene, I snap a photo of it, so that the "future me" will remember to do a photo-shoot there.

The by-line would say, Photographer: Sang Choi.

--

With this particular place, I loved how the pretty, blue paint contrasted with the red, brick wall.

Fun Fun to Me.

Boring to Others.

-----

[You Are Listening To : Porcupine Tree : Collapse the Light Into Earth]

Future?

2009-10-25T23:28:00.000-07:00

Fall is here.

And it's quite nice.

------

I don't imagine myself living in a big industrial house.

A quaint, cozy home is what I prefer; a place where I could sip my morning tea, and hum along to tunes while tapping my feet.

But who knows. Things change.

Hmm... I must have a Willow tree though.

And these lovely little flies.

Up close they had hair that looked like sky blue cotton stuck onto their backs.

Daylight Fireflies.

Quite the cool.

Don't you think?

Meow.

2009-10-25T09:28:00.000-07:00

Hello, my dear darlings.

----

Cat Story.

------

[You Are Listening To : N.E.R.D. : You Know What]

My Palette. My Slate.

2009-10-18T09:40:00.000-07:00

For a second

Everything looked black, white, and grey.

The skies, the stars, the moon.
The people, the streets, the clouds.

I wondered to myself where all the color had gone.

Until someone beside me said, "Look!"

I looked down into the palms of my hands, and lo and behold, in it were the colors of the rainbow.

------

[You Are Listening To : Until June : In My Head]

Thank You

2009-10-16T09:16:00.000-07:00

On a serious note,

Yesterday, on my way to the bus stop, I was harassed by some fellas in their car.

Thank You God for always watching out.
Thank you lady, who stopped to help and see if I was okay.

Alive and Well.

It's a brand new day.

-------

[Yahzarah:]
Thank you for the music, thank you for my life
Thank you for the good, bad, wrong and the right
Thank you for my laughter, thank you for my name
Thank you for the love that grows in my days
Thank you for my sunshine, thank you for my clouds
Thank you for my yesterdays, thank you for right now

Thank you for right now
Thank you for right now

------

Oh, How it soothes.

2009-10-14T21:50:00.000-07:00

Breathe In.

Itchy.

Cough.

Slowly Breathe In.

Better.

But makes me feel... stupid.

So I breathe normally.

And cough 'til it's raw.

BUT!

Have no fear.

My mother's here.

And makes me drink this FANTASTIC

Ginger Tea.

Oh, How I Love Thee.

With a little bit of Honey. Te He He He!

Hey Ma!

Like they break it down in them songs, and how my boy AJ tells it,

"You da, you da best."

Ha.

<3 forever.

---------

[You Are Listening To : The Foreign Exchange : Title Theme (Nicolay RMX)]

Oh, it's Blood.

2009-10-03T20:34:00.000-07:00

The other day at work, while changing mannequins, a small chunk of skin came off my pinky finger. When it happened, I didn't think much of it, slapped on a band aid, and called it sweet good, but after taking the bandage off at home, I became mesmerized as to how translucent and bright my tiny pool of blood was.

So I thought I would share.

Because

Sharing is Caring.

Oh?

Oh!

Me: Appa! Look!
Pops: *Looks at it, Removes his glasses, Takes a closer look, Mumbles, Grabs Aloe, And Slathers it all Away.*

All Gone.

Moo, Zoink, Boink

2009-10-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

Strange.

Cute.

Huge.

Sad.

Sometimes,

2009-09-28T18:32:00.001-07:00

At random moments throughout my day or week, I'll get a burst of energy.
It feels like... I need to get up, and explore the world. Expand my horizons.

I forget where I'm at, and what I'm doing in life, and instead, think of what I could be doing.
There's a glimmer, a sparkle, a shine, of what it would feel like.

And I want to hold onto that.

-------

[You Are Listening To : Lisa Mitchell : Coin Laundry (Starsmith RMX)]

I'm Leaving.. Nowhere.

2009-08-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes,

I feel like I'm going to slip away

Away from the world

And fly off the Earth

Into Oblivion

Into Heaven

As if God wants to take me far... far...

But I say

Wait.

Let me give it a try.

And see what's the hype.

In this splatter of blue and green..

And get a feeling of what it's all about.

So yeah...

I guess that's why I'm here.

--------

[You Are Listening To : Sara Lov : Fountain]

Immiscible Thoughts...

2009-07-31T21:41:00.000-07:00

I wish I had an eraser.

I'm sitting at my desk, feeling the summer breeze and a bit heartsick.

널 그리다...

2009-07-14T23:16:00.000-07:00

I want to

travel,

take pictures,

and fall in love.

If only
it were that easy.

-----

I believe that in every blog site I ever owned, this song repeatedly showed up.
It's one of my favorite songs in the world by my favorite composer, Yiruma.
I find it quite special that he sings in this one, due to the fact that he rarely ever sings in his compositions.

Hurrah,
Hurray,
To you Sir.

You have an explicable gift whom one can envy so easily.

At your expense and enjoyment, please continue to lavish us.

-----

언젠가 파란 하늘 사이로
너에게 보낸 나의 마음은

천천히 나를 스쳐가는 바람속에
가만히 두 눈을 감고 나만의 널 그리다...
맑은 너의 그 미소는 따뜻한 여름 비처럼
너와 지금 이 순간도 함께 나누고 있어.

새하얀 너의 미소는 깨끗한 눈송이처럼
너와 지금 이 순간도 함께 나누고 있어.

천천히 나를 스쳐 지나가는 바람속에
가만히 두 눈을 감고 나만의 널 그리다...

----------

[You Are Listening To : Yiruma : 널 그리다]

Boo On You.

2009-07-07T23:28:00.000-07:00

Unrealistic.

Moved the Keyboard, Mice, and Tablet away.

Acer monitor stopped working.

Piece

Of

Crap

Man.

lsa;fldijsaflishfjsdaf...

---

I'm a brat.

I know.

Dear God,

2009-06-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

Without even asking,
You knew how to answer.

---

[Written about a week ago; Posted today.]

Before opening up my Bible this morning, I prayed a simple prayer, "God, show me something."
And of course, He did.

Lately, a certain subject has been on my mind, and I knew that what I thought was right, but there was no way I could explain it well without using supporting reasonings conjured up in my head. I knew that in order to prove to myself that I was right, I needed a source other than myself. Obviously, the Bible would have been the perfect place to go to, but instead I dwindled on the topic myself for some time before I came upon these verses today.

Romans 1:18-32

It makes perfect sense to me.
It will infuriate others who don't know or understand.

He doesn't speak with hate, nor with wrath, but with truth.
I don't speak with hate, nor with wrath, but with truth.

I asked my dad the other day, "People call us close-minded, but by labeling us as close-minded, aren't they being close-minded? They don't or don't want to understand that we are beings with beliefs and thoughts with reasons that penetrate society like they themselves do. Instead, they label and alienate us, and think different as if they understand."

Why?

-----

God is amazing.

He knows my thoughts.
He knows my hurts.
He knows my faults without blame.

But most importantly,

He knows my heart.
And how it aches.

Object of My Affection

2009-06-12T21:55:00.000-07:00

My name is Sang Choi.

And just like everyone else in the world,

I love to take photographs.

one~

two~

Model : Beanie Choi

AKA : My Dear Darling Sister

Don't Know...

2009-06-11T21:28:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to feel.

All I know is how to say.

If only

there was someone to tell...

--------------

[You Are Listening To : Kaskade : Your Love Is Black]

Guess What?

2009-03-05T19:32:00.000-08:00

Rude people suck.

Withdrawal.

2009-03-01T22:59:00.000-08:00

Is Needed.

If Only I Twirled

2009-02-12T23:22:00.000-08:00

I used to laugh

With a simple twirl,

And the dizzying world would catch me when I fell.

----

The world kept

Spinning.

Spinning.

And

Spinning.

---

But then one day,

It stopped.

I did not collapse.

And instead,

I stood still, and looked around.

The dizzying spell wore off,

And for once,

For a very split second,

Everything looked clear.

-----

[You Are Listening To : Coeur de Pirate : Comme des Enfants (Le Mantos Remix)]

Malfunction.

2009-01-28T20:26:00.000-08:00

I feel restricted.

----

And so

I'm tired.

----

[You Are Listening To : Osborne : 16th Stage]

Why....

2009-01-13T00:42:00.000-08:00

Can't I sleep?
I have work tomorrow.

Come.

On.

Sigh.

I guess... I'll just write my thoughts in a coherent manner for once.

How about that, eh? Eh?

---

So.
It's the year 2009.

Christmas 2008 didn't feel like Christmas.
New Year of 2009 didn't feel like much of a New Year.

But.

Unlike any other New Year, I made a couple of resolutions.

Number 1: Do QT. Rekindle relationship with God.

For the past two years, I've been in this awful phase with God. I don't even really know how it happened. I suppose gradually, so that by the time I knew what was happening, there was already too much damage for me to stop, or so I thought. The bad habits remained, and I was left with a bloody headache everyday. The headaches were from worrying and stressing over stupid things, and... my temper which would be off wack inside.

So.
Hurrah for the new year.

People around me asked, "What's with all the fuss and hype of a new year?"

Well, you see, the beginning of a new year is like a fresh start, or at least feels like one. It's a time where people get a feeling like they have another chance to make a positive difference, which really, is a beautiful thing. If time went on without any sort of system to keep track, man, wouldn't that be the suck of the suck of the suck? Ughh.. it drains me to even think about it.

And so this year I want to start it off with peace.
To love. To be loved.
And to genuinely be happy.
Which I could only do with the big G.

Number 2: Lose Weight.

This is pretty much self explanatory.

Shed them suckers.

YEAYER.

blOop.

The End.

I must.
Force
Sleep.

--

When You're Waiting

2009-01-12T21:25:00.000-08:00

Is it normal,

to feel this empty?

To My Dearest,

2009-01-04T21:30:00.000-08:00

I knew what I did.

I knew what I could have fixed.

I knew where I would fall.

I knew what would happen.

But I did it anyway.

I saw You crying.

I felt Your heart break.

I saw You smile.

I made You proud.

So I did it anyway.

I knew that whatever I did, You would still love me.

I knew that the things I broke, You would fix.

I knew that when I fell, You would catch me.

And in all honesty, You were the One who knew what would happen.

Not I.

---

Dear 2008,

You helped me to grow, like any other year.

But it was God who showed me the difference.

So, my dearest, I must say,

Farewell.

----

[You Are Listening To : Let's Go Sailing : This Rope Is Long]

Have You Met The Lovely Choons?

2008-12-18T20:42:00.000-08:00

You Ask.

What's a Choon?

Choi + Moon = Choon

oOooOOoOOo...

La La? La? La?

______________

Miss you boo.

---

[You Are Listening To : New Look : So Real]

I fell in love with the song at 1:47.

Love it.

Hope you do too.

Black And Gold

2008-12-10T22:01:00.001-08:00

I love this song.

And I want to forever dance to it.

If the fish swam out of the ocean
And grew legs and they started walking
And the apes climbed down from the trees
And grew tall and they started talking

And the stars fell out of the sky
And my tears rolled into the ocean
Now i'm looking for a reason why
You even set my world into motion

'Cause if you're not really here
Then the stars don't even matter
Now i'm filled to the top with fear
But it's all just a bunch of matter
'Cause if you're not really here
Then i don't want to be either
I wanna be next to you
Black and gold
Black and gold
Black and gold

I looked up into the night sky
And see a thousand eyes staring back
And all around these golden beacons
I see nothing but black

I feel a way of something beyond them
I don't see what i can feel
If vision is the only validation
Then most of my life isn't real

'Cause if you're not really here
Then the stars don't even matter
Now i'm filled to the top with fear
But it's all just a bunch of matter
'Cause if you're not really here
Then i don't want to be either
I wanna be next to you
Black and gold
Black and gold
Black and gold

-----

[You Are Listening To : Sam Sparro : Black And Gold]

WAHLAH!

2008-12-08T20:58:00.001-08:00

So.

I Swapped rooms.

boink.

zoink.

shloop.

All this space for

Ahjibbong.bbong.bbong.

You Little Gremlin.

----

[You Are Listening To : Q-Tip ft. Norah Jones : Life Is Better]

2008-11-29T18:50:00.000-08:00

The charm of the city stands still.

In a blur, and a staggering rush,
Light evades.

The darkness swiftly sweeps,
The glitter of the night,
That once lit the heavenly earth.

Only eyes surround me.
And I exhale.
Close my eyes.
And seep in the moment of pleasure
Of being the attention I once dreamt of.

Only it's not what it was.

What it should have been.

Or what I thought.

------

[You Are Listening To : Damien Rice : Sleep Don't Weep]

I Remember When...

2008-11-23T18:41:00.000-08:00

We fought.

We punched.

We yelled.

We called each other crazies and pests.

But we loved.

<3

Oh yeah,

We all got fat.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA...

More to love.

Yes?

Yes. Yes.

-----

[You Are Listening To : The Stix ft Corinne Bailey : Young & Foolish]

oOoO la La... LaLa. La. La.

2008-11-11T19:54:00.000-08:00

One.

Two.

Buckle My Shoe.

-----

[You Are Listening To : Nell : 믿어선 안될말]

Sway, Drink, Dance, Sip. Repeat.

2008-11-10T19:23:00.000-08:00

_Passion Pit_

_Yelle_

So I Swayed.

And I Drank.

And I Danced.

And I Sipped.

And Sweated.

Was Shoved.

Was Tossed.

And Drowned within the Crowd.

Oh the Joy of Relaxing....

----

[You Are Listening To : Passion Pit : Sleepyhead]

The Beginning.

2008-11-09T18:52:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I'm scared to start something I've always wanted to do. I'm thinking the fear of not making it is the root to the hesitation... the initial jump.. to get started... and to finally reach the end. You think, "But what if... what if it's not enough." I make excuses and I let loose, giving slack to what needs to be taut.

My brother calls, and afterwards I feel better.
It's amazing, you know, to know that someone's rooting for you.
I hang up, and I feel thankful and blessed.
He tells me, "Keep going, do what you want to do. From what you're saying, it seems like this is what you want to do."
I say, "It is."
I don't say, "I'm scared."
He just knows.

So.

Accept me.

Please. :]

----

Sharon is a lovely girl, and I love her for many reasons.
She's the type of friend who will always say "Okay!" without a blink of an eye.

"Sharon, you want to be my model for my portfolio?"

"Okay!"

Cool.

So easy.

What I don't understand, is why she stays and continues to be my friend.

"Sharon, I can't label our friendship."
"Eh."
"Yeah. Whatever. It doesn't matter."

Ahahahhahahah....

----

Sharon playing, flying, catching lights.

----

[You Are Listening To : Cocorosie : South 2nd]
Thanks to Nathan R.

Blah.Di.Freakin.Dah.

2008-11-06T23:10:00.000-08:00

I would show a before and after picture, but the after picture never lasts.

Eat. Work. Sleep.

Mess.

Eat. Work. Sleep.

Mess.

Eat. Work. Sleep.

Mess.

Get the drift?...

My Dear, Wake Up

2008-11-03T18:31:00.000-08:00

Tears.

Makeup Smears

Excessive fluid drains

And ruins the well-put face.

---

But I wake up

Put a smile on my face

And walk out the door

To begin another day to say

"Hello."

"How are you doing?"

"Is there anything you need?"

"Thank You."

And

"Farewell."

---

[You Are Listening To : School of Seven Bells : Half Asleep]

A Bitter Cry

2008-10-05T22:41:00.000-07:00

Grip Tightens.

Trembling Stops.

Sweat Dries.

Eyes Focus.

Fingers Curve.

Click.

Click.

And there goes a

Pop.

And It's Over.

Another Dead.

-On Repeat

-Rewind

A Heart.

Fragile.

Vulnerable.

Hurts.

Shatters.

Breaks.

And is left to be mended.

Scars remain.

To avoid repetition:

Acts Harder
Masks Boldness
Bears Coldness

And Sincerity Is Lost.

-Present

And so we ask for a revolution.
A change that will bring peace.
But at the moment.
Peace seems to have wandered
Into the streets of what we call war.

And so now I wonder

Do we want a revolution?

Yes.

But not this.

We never asked for this.

-Stop
-Stop
-Stop

But they tell me, history only

-Repeats

Tragedy, Tragedy, after Tragedy.

---

So I tell them

This is not Shakespeare.

Within our hands is a script that never ends.

And we are the writers who have the power to make positive changes.

At least, for the lives that will follow.

That is,

If we care.

---

[You Are Listening To : Margot & The Nuclear So & Sos : A Sea Chanty of Sorts]

Thanks Lep. :]

An Answer

2008-09-30T22:03:00.000-07:00

"Life's complicated, because people make it complicated."

-4th grader, Sharon Kim, during Sunday school

And so it is.

We Fail... We Fall.

2008-09-04T20:41:00.000-07:00

Remember me as I am.

---

I Failed.

I Fell.

I Lived.

---

[You Are Listening To : Chris Garneau : Relief]

Hello Hello My Lovely Folks.

2008-08-30T20:35:00.000-07:00

It's refreshing to say I've been meeting Steph quite often these days. I don't know why it's difficult for me to step outside to see friends, quite silly really, but I'm proud to say I saw my darling three times this past week or so. Hip Hip Hooray. The following pictures are moments from a day of the "Pike Excursion." It was quite the lovely, lovely day. Enjoy.

------

[Pike Place Public Market]

In front of the first Starbucks there's usually an entertaining musical ensemble welcoming the public and adding to the market's festivities.

If you look above, you'll see the original Starbucks sign. Boobage. Nipples. Tails. And All. Wonderful.

The horrid thing about this place is that there's always a long line that coils and trails to never ending. Boo. That's what I say.

Steph took me to the oh-so-gruesome but oh-so-fantastic bubblePOP collection. The place is an absolute fabulous place to do a photo shoot.

I love the next three photos of me-lovely-lovely Steph against the backdrop of cultured Seattle. Love Love.

Here We Go!

oOoOOooOOooOoo......

I'm going to order this window next in the catalogue. Maybe with different flavors so I can pick it off and chew it when I get.... lonely? AHAHAHAAHAHAHAH... Gum = Lover in a twisted world I suppose.

Ms. Moon decided she wanted to add to the germified brick wall.

Unfortunately, she failed.

And was left with another's souvenir.

Luckily, with some effort, the disgusting specimen fell off.

Walking around some more, we entered into SAM, and I persistently insisted her to take a picture next to these aliens who I said was her family.

"Steph! Look! Your family!"

"Huh?!"

"Take a picture next to them!"

"Why?!"

"Because!"

"Why?!"

"Because!"

After a little more of this, she relented like usual.

And I just thought these glowing spiked car thingamajeegers were quite the cool. They were shot in daylight, but Photoshop did its thing to make it POP.

--

Fun Fun Fun

Once Again.

Tired, because that was the day I completed my last final I couldn't/didn't study for, due to the previous day coming home late from a dead battery in the car that THE one day my sister actually was being nice and came to pick me up from school, leaving me no time to read the Psych book I should have read during the quarter.

But. Like the norm.
It was worth it.
My mind was going dooooooooooooooooooooooop that whole day.

Still.
It was worth it.

I encourage you to do the same.

----
------

Slide down a banister
Land on your feet and open the door
Hands up, up in the air
Nothing to change and nothing to wear

No cares, no cars, no heat, no heaven, no mice, no might, no dash, no deal

Come as you were
Come as you are
Come as you came
All naked and drunk on heart and lazy
Come as you were
Come as you are
Come as you came
All heavy with love and sparks and crazy

Blow down a skyscraper
Fill up your pockets
Fill up your nerves
Fall up into my arms
Give me a love and set off alarms

No cares, no cars, no heat, no heaven, no mice, no might, no dash, no deal

Come as you were
Come as you are
Come as you came
All naked and drunk on heart and lazy
Come as you were
Come as you are
Come as you came
All heavy with love and sparks and crazy

--

[You Are Listening To : The Bird And The Bee : Come As You Were]

Phantom Summer

2008-07-31T20:01:00.000-07:00

To : My Dear, Sweet, Sweet Summer

You must stop being a

Pompous

Pendulous

Prick

-----

Seattle's Summer....

sigh...

Is like a loves yous, hates yous relationship.

I love you when you're here.

I hate when you leave.

Never saying goodbye.

Where did your manners go?

Don't blame the clouds.

Don't even try,

To blame the wistful winds.

I beg for you to stay,
But when you're here,
I can't ever so enjoy your company,

Knowing if I harm your temper,
You will leave at any moment,
Without looking back.

----

Summer.

You're what we call

Selfish.

--

[You Are Listening To : Jon Foreman : A Mirror Is Harder To Hold]

A Child No More.

2008-07-20T22:33:00.000-07:00

Riding,

Breathing,

Dwelling,

On Emotions

Will Never Get You Far.

To Grow Old,

Means To Let Go.

So Let Go.

----

Today I spent some time talking with my parents. They reminded me that we all make mistakes, and fail in a lot of things, happenings that we aren't so proud of. A couple of nights ago, I was disappointed in my dad who acted, for the lack of better words, "stupid." Although I was sad and angry at him, the next day I saw him, we both just let it ease over, and let it go. I could tell from the way he looked at me that he was sorry, and lucky little pappi to have such a wonderful daughter like me, I just gave him a smile that said, "Don't worry pops."

Due to past experience, I knew holding onto an emotion was tiring and caused anything but the better.

It crushed hearts.

And wasted time.

Time is precious you know.

I could save lives.... or love..

So instead,
I took this chance to show God I was listening, and that I did care about what He did for me. I guess one of the best ways to show God's love, or to show how much you love Him, is to be like Him.

This was my chance.

A chance to be like Him.

A chance to say, "Hey, I love you."

So I took it.

------

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

A Thought.

2008-07-18T10:49:00.000-07:00

It's weird.

I just finished writing a long email to my sister, and as I was nearing the end I had this feeling of "this is how it's going to be," meaning sooner than I think, one day my sister and I will part, my family and I will part, and I'll be there to be left, hanging on my own. My form of communication will change, and I won't be sitting right in front of them talking away like it'll last forever, but will be communicating from miles and miles away.

I guess this is life telling me that it's time to grow.

And possibly, it's time to go.

---

[You Are Listening To : Priscilla Ahn : Dream]

p u p p e t s

2008-07-16T18:03:00.000-07:00

---

Interview: Sang Choi
Date: July 16, 2008

01: What are you up to lately?
02: Uhm. Just Summer School.
01: What do you plan to do afterwards?
02: Intern or Work.
01: Where?
02: I Don't Know.
01: Not even a slight clue?...
02: MMMMMMMM Something With Art? Eh. I Don't Know.
Just Want Some Kind Of Experience With The World.
To Feel. To Touch. To Breathe. To Live Life Like An Adult.
01: For how long?
02: About A Year Or So.
01: After that?
02: Go To School To Learn Things I Want To Learn And Make Of Use.
01: Like?
02: Photography. Graphic Design. HTML.
French. Guitar. To Love. To Laugh. Happiness.
01: I heard you wanted to be a ___________ before.
02: Yeah. I Thought I Wanted To Be A Lot Of Things.

I Thought I Wanted A Lot Of Things.

Ends Up Something Else Wanted To Be Me.

Ends Up Something Else Wanted Me More.

----

Hedi Slimane.

A designer & photographer I love.

----

The photos below are from his online diary.

[hedislimane.com]

I picked the ones I liked.
It might have been the clothes, the models, the patterns, the designs, or just the whole feel of the picture.

Reasons

Reasons

Reasons

-

Whatever.

-

Enjoy.

-

-

-

Kids.

You don't need a tattoo.

You don't need to smoke.

You don't need to be stick thin.

You need to laugh.

You need to smile.

You need to jump.

You need to dance.

You need to love others.

&

You need to love yourself.

Why?

Because.

That's What We Call

Beautiful.

-

Kids.

Let's Just Leave It As Art.

Okay?

Can You Do That?

---

It's Art.

But It's Only Art.

---

love.

---

[You Are Listening To : Kleerup Ft Lykke Li : Until We Bleed]

[Edited On : 07.18.08]

Scared Scared Scared

2008-07-15T18:44:00.000-07:00

--

[You Are Listening To : Christoffer : Let's Wait Awhile (JJ RMXed)]

Bye Bye Beanie Bbong

2008-07-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

Oh My Dearest...

Off You Go...

To The Motherland.

----

Be Happy.

Be Safe.

Be Wild.

----

Just Be.

----

Dance

Dance

Dance

Dance

Dance

Dance

Dance

----

[You Are Listening To : Kleerup : Thank You For Nothing]

You Know What?

2008-07-02T17:55:00.000-07:00

Forget about Personality.

Forget About Charm.

Forget About Sweet.

Forget About What Your Mama Told You.

I Want A Motha Freakin Good Lookin Man.

Wicked Hot.

---

.giggle.giggle.

---

[You Are Listening To : Sally Shapiro : Time To Let Go (SPITZER RMX)]

Outside My Window...

2008-06-30T23:15:00.000-07:00

To Go.

To Leave.

---

I feel...

Kind of....

Funny.

----

The Sun is now yellow,

But I'm becoming blue.

---

Little Girl,

Little Girl,

We Can't Be Silly In This World.

It's Forbidden.

----

[You Are Listening To : Bon Iver : Skinny Love]

POP!

2008-06-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

Is it just me, or does this pic look trippy???

Please don't say it's just me.

It's just me, huh?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NEVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAARRRRR

It's all about you Sang, isn't it?

YES!

AHAHAHHAHAHA LA!

----

YAY YAY YAY

I GOT TO SEE EMMARS YESTERDAY!

YAY YAY YAY

-----

STEPH STEPH STEPH

PLEASE HURRY BACK SO WE CAN PLAY!

Story Time

One day, Steph, Emma and I were snappity snap snap happy on the camera.

To tease, because I tease, and supposedly some say because I'm mean, but I'm really not (and let me justify myself by saying, "You don't knoOoOow me" *snap snap*), I said to all of the kajillion group pictures to Steph, "Dude, Steph, you're blowin it. Serious."

So the next time I see her she excitedly tells me, "SANG SANG SANG, I'M READY THIS TIME!"

("Sang Pleaser" is Steph's middle name. Yes Yes. I know. Odd. Isn't it?)

Unfortunately, oh so unfortunate, this was the sad little day Steph made an effort to be prettified and was so ready for the camera,

But Emma and I felt yuck yuck yucky.

So.

Steph had to take pictures alone.

All by herself.

She looked really pretty in them.

But alone.

The End.

----

YAY!

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Steph. Don't kill me.

Look Look Look! For You! --------> :]

------

[You Are Listening To : The Teenagers : Make It Happen]

Bipolar

2008-06-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

At times, the mind is a catastrophic asylum.

The reasoning of the heart being, to smother the insanity.

Frolicking On Thin Thoughts

2008-06-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

I feel suffocated,
when no one gets it.

So relieve me.

------

Deferment.

Means Postponement.

It's not the end of the world.

If it was, I'd be freaking out too. Trust me.

------

Awkward. When people sound sappy about something of yours,

When you're perfectly fine.

It's kind of like, when I'm dead.

I'll be perfectly fine.

Don't Worry.

You were never in control.

Don't Worry.

It'll confuse things.

------

Life's steady.

Cool. Not as thrilling. But Cool. Expected. Nevertheless, Cool.

Life's Turbulent.

Doors fling open. Hearts Throb. Emotions Exceed. Excess. Deep Breath.

Cool.

------

At the moment.

Kind of feels like I'm in reverse, when my pops was wildly worrying and furrowing his brows, wondering if his little sweet pea (me), would get into UW.

Me.

I'll get in.

I can feel it.

Wasn't worried.

But his worry was fierce.

So fierce, it caused me to doubt and worry.

Why worry?

Contradicts with God.

Woah.

Didn't make sense.

Just didn't.

Being Young, never meant being stupid.

--

Fast Forward.

This time.

It's not my dad.

-------

They say, everything will be okay.

Me.

I know.

But You.

If I told you,

If I told you,

If I told you,

I was okay,

And everything will be alright,

Would you believe me?

Remember.

I'm not you.

You're not me.

Remember.

We want different things.

So, would you?

Take the leap.

Try.

---
Love.Love

To the Max.

------

[You Are Listening To : Aqualung : Good Times Gonna Come]

Can't you see the grass is greener where it rains....

2008-06-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

I'm on the dry.

.....

So.... I think I'm suppose to be sad, but, I'm not.

I received a letter from the UW, saying my application has been deferred til November.
But it's funny.
Long before that, I had this feeling of uncertainty.

Uncertain if I wanted this for my career.
Uncertain if this decision was based on it being an easy option.
An answer for myself.
For my parents.
For strangers.

A way out.

Uncertain
Unsure
Unreliable.

So....
When I tore the letter, it matched the feeling of uncertainty.
I wasn't surprised.
A little shocked(?) I suppose, because I didn't know there was even such an option of deferment, which left me with a "What the hell?" feeling.
Why not a simple yes, or a no?

That would have done completely fine with Ms. Choi's feelings.

It was what I wanted.

But life isn't that easy, is it?

----

God's been at the heart of things.

Go where it rains, He says.

Why strand yourself on dry land?

Yeah. It's good enough, but honey, you know there's better.

Go.

Run.

Fly.

Swim if you have to.

I'm there.

Watching.

And

Waiting.

--

What I do know is that God is definitely here with me.

Even when I'm unsteady, shaking and trembling, and all.

It's scary.

Why did I scramble for something I didn't want, I ask.

Because you know I'm always there, and forever will take care of you, He answers.

---

God,

Watch me shine.

Wherever it will be.

Whoever I'll become.

Whatever I decide.

Rain on me.

Shine on me.

---

[You Are Listening To : Bell X1 : Eve, The Apple Of My Eye]

Only If You're A Little Bit In Love With Me...

2008-06-01T10:12:00.000-07:00

To: Summer

My Dear.

I am so ready for you.

----

[You Are Listening To : Lykke Li : Little Bit]